1 00:00:38,582 --> 00:00:40,624 That's the home castle of my family, 2 00:00:41,207 --> 00:00:43,249 the Dartagnon family, 3 00:00:43,666 --> 00:00:45,748 and that's the coat of arms with the beech 4 00:00:45,749 --> 00:00:47,416 which my father showed one day. 5 00:00:48,541 --> 00:00:49,998 Look, my son, 6 00:00:49,999 --> 00:00:51,749 that's very important 7 00:00:52,041 --> 00:00:53,624 for a Dartagnon, 8 00:00:53,832 --> 00:00:55,623 and he laughted when saying this. 9 00:00:55,624 --> 00:00:57,166 I did not know what he meant 10 00:00:57,332 --> 00:00:59,124 but I turned red. 11 00:02:12,499 --> 00:02:14,415 Besides my father, I was 12 00:02:14,416 --> 00:02:15,665 the only man on the property. 13 00:02:15,666 --> 00:02:18,332 I was meant to take over one day. 14 00:02:18,582 --> 00:02:21,082 I only had one wish though: 15 00:02:22,041 --> 00:02:24,041 to become Musqueteer of the king. 16 00:02:24,416 --> 00:02:26,791 That's why I wanted to become strong, 17 00:02:26,957 --> 00:02:30,457 honouring king and country. 18 00:03:02,957 --> 00:03:04,374 It was fall, 19 00:03:04,624 --> 00:03:06,749 the last harvest was to be brought in, 20 00:03:07,082 --> 00:03:09,249 all the servants on the field. 21 00:03:17,130 --> 00:03:21,070 Even His Eminence the Cardinal insisted on doing his bit. 22 00:03:26,790 --> 00:03:27,790 But your eminence, 23 00:03:27,832 --> 00:03:30,610 I haven't even had a chance to wash my legs today. 24 00:03:34,710 --> 00:03:38,560 That doesn't matter, my child. Everything about you is delicious nature. 25 00:03:40,050 --> 00:03:41,590 That tickles, your eminence. 26 00:04:04,230 --> 00:04:06,010 Young Lordship, sweet. 27 00:04:48,960 --> 00:04:49,960 Yvonne, 28 00:04:50,340 --> 00:04:52,720 I wonder what she's doing here. 29 00:04:54,360 --> 00:04:55,360 Oh, good gracious. 30 00:04:55,716 --> 00:04:56,716 Hello. 31 00:04:57,840 --> 00:04:59,200 I'm in a hurry. 32 00:04:59,700 --> 00:05:01,510 What's got into her? 33 00:05:14,700 --> 00:05:16,242 That crazy female. 34 00:06:12,780 --> 00:06:15,820 I could not comprehend what was happening to me. 35 00:06:16,020 --> 00:06:17,620 I had to investigate. 36 00:06:18,510 --> 00:06:22,342 It was unbelievable. It had become so big and hard like a 37 00:06:22,343 --> 00:06:25,440 catapult. I remembered I had put some acorns in my pocket, 38 00:06:25,650 --> 00:06:27,447 so I took them out to see if I could use it as a 39 00:06:27,448 --> 00:06:30,370 slingshot with which to shoot them into the water. 40 00:06:32,820 --> 00:06:34,030 It worked. 41 00:07:37,920 --> 00:07:39,300 What are you doing? 42 00:07:39,660 --> 00:07:40,660 Huh? 43 00:07:43,650 --> 00:07:45,460 It's supposed to be a slingshot. 44 00:07:52,350 --> 00:07:54,610 Mind demonstrating it to me once? 45 00:07:59,490 --> 00:08:00,490 All right. 46 00:08:09,330 --> 00:08:10,690 Very good. 47 00:08:13,740 --> 00:08:18,190 - If you ask me, you're a good shot. - You're bringing me luck. It works even better. 48 00:08:34,260 --> 00:08:36,430 That isn't a slingshot. 49 00:08:36,720 --> 00:08:39,430 It's not a slingshot, but I used it as one. 50 00:08:39,780 --> 00:08:40,780 No. 51 00:08:40,980 --> 00:08:43,030 Believe me, it's a flute. 52 00:09:06,120 --> 00:09:07,300 The witch. 53 00:09:08,220 --> 00:09:09,330 But I don't understand. 54 00:09:09,480 --> 00:09:11,500 Darling, I'll explain everything. 55 00:09:22,410 --> 00:09:23,640 Maybe it's time 56 00:09:23,790 --> 00:09:24,810 I played your 57 00:09:25,020 --> 00:09:26,020 slingshot. 58 00:09:37,928 --> 00:09:38,928 You old hag! 59 00:09:40,728 --> 00:09:41,728 Just you wait! 60 00:11:32,387 --> 00:11:33,536 Blanche! 61 00:11:33,705 --> 00:11:34,705 Blanche! 62 00:11:34,816 --> 00:11:36,576 I can't wait to tell you what I just saw! 63 00:11:36,689 --> 00:11:39,041 D'Artagnan has became a man at last! 64 00:11:39,929 --> 00:11:41,289 Well, what do you know! 65 00:12:32,986 --> 00:12:33,986 Good wine. 66 00:12:36,892 --> 00:12:37,942 You're right. 67 00:12:38,266 --> 00:12:39,776 The wine was good. 68 00:12:40,336 --> 00:12:41,336 The women were good. 69 00:12:41,416 --> 00:12:42,586 And even the songs were good. 70 00:12:43,036 --> 00:12:45,676 Ah, yes. Which reminds me of a remarkable story. 71 00:12:46,036 --> 00:12:50,205 It all happened long before I became a musketeer. I have always had a certain weakness 72 00:12:50,206 --> 00:12:52,563 for old convent. As a young man, I used 73 00:12:52,564 --> 00:12:55,916 to love entering the convents through the windows. 74 00:12:56,206 --> 00:12:58,449 And I always did my best to satisfy those famished 75 00:12:58,450 --> 00:13:00,586 angels. Freely bears couldn't have 76 00:13:00,796 --> 00:13:02,486 been hungrier. 77 00:13:02,656 --> 00:13:05,895 Well, on this evening about which I wanted to tell you, I was afraid I'd made a 78 00:13:05,896 --> 00:13:07,856 mistake and found into a monastery. 79 00:13:08,446 --> 00:13:09,446 For men? 80 00:13:09,706 --> 00:13:11,206 Well, I would have been at a loss. 81 00:13:11,416 --> 00:13:13,796 I don't have to tell you what I'm fond of. 82 00:13:18,316 --> 00:13:18,796 Well, 83 00:13:19,006 --> 00:13:20,032 then, I saw a ray of light. 84 00:13:20,056 --> 00:13:21,226 I went toward it. 85 00:13:21,826 --> 00:13:22,966 The suspense was immense. 86 00:13:24,466 --> 00:13:26,116 And it was a monastery. 87 00:13:26,296 --> 00:13:28,426 Just your luck. 88 00:13:29,382 --> 00:13:30,076 But 89 00:13:30,196 --> 00:13:32,066 that's not the whole story. 90 00:13:33,016 --> 00:13:36,179 They seem to be performing a strange dance ritual. 91 00:13:49,036 --> 00:13:51,016 They kept going around in a circle, 92 00:13:51,286 --> 00:13:52,466 like lunatics. 93 00:14:27,256 --> 00:14:29,276 What finally happened? Well? 94 00:14:29,686 --> 00:14:31,606 Well, the first man kept shouting something. 95 00:14:31,846 --> 00:14:32,986 I didn't understand it. 96 00:14:33,376 --> 00:14:35,092 I always knew you were not very intelligent. 97 00:14:35,116 --> 00:14:36,956 It was only a matter of time. 98 00:14:37,066 --> 00:14:37,396 Well, 99 00:14:37,756 --> 00:14:38,266 in the end, 100 00:14:38,536 --> 00:14:41,456 the reason for the dance was as clear as day. 101 00:14:41,596 --> 00:14:43,016 Speak up, man. 102 00:14:43,066 --> 00:14:45,896 Would you like to know what he said? Come on, tell us. Very well. 103 00:14:45,946 --> 00:14:48,416 Brothers, close the gaps in the circle. 104 00:15:00,526 --> 00:15:02,636 I must be on my way, love. 105 00:15:02,836 --> 00:15:05,456 Perhaps our paths are meant to cross again. 106 00:15:06,406 --> 00:15:08,416 Young man, you're a brilliant student. 107 00:15:09,556 --> 00:15:12,806 And women are going to like you, royalty in particular. 108 00:16:05,656 --> 00:16:07,016 Just a minute. 109 00:16:07,276 --> 00:16:08,276 What do you want? 110 00:16:08,656 --> 00:16:10,066 Oh, what's the matter with you? 111 00:16:10,606 --> 00:16:12,856 A gypsy woman took my slingshot and ruined it. 112 00:16:13,036 --> 00:16:15,766 Oh, that is very sad. Follow me in here. I'll fix it. 113 00:16:16,366 --> 00:16:19,256 How? It's just about the easiest thing in the world. 114 00:16:21,136 --> 00:16:22,376 Come here. 115 00:16:41,416 --> 00:16:44,396 If I'm to help you, you'll have to take off your things. 116 00:16:49,246 --> 00:16:50,246 I know. 117 00:16:50,476 --> 00:16:52,286 I'll turn around, 118 00:18:02,836 --> 00:18:06,626 It's very pretty, didn't I tell you? It's almost all right again. 119 00:18:09,556 --> 00:18:10,796 Come here. 120 00:18:24,826 --> 00:18:27,146 Do you notice any difference? 121 00:18:27,406 --> 00:18:29,752 Everything is young and alive. 122 00:21:10,134 --> 00:21:11,134 Now what? 123 00:21:12,436 --> 00:21:15,104 That reminds me of something a long time ago. 124 00:21:15,934 --> 00:21:16,923 In a monastery. 125 00:21:16,948 --> 00:21:17,948 We know. 126 00:21:19,774 --> 00:21:22,834 Of course, I don't like climbing walls at all. 127 00:21:23,134 --> 00:21:26,794 It's not that I couldn't climb anything I wanted, but you know, I did. 128 00:21:26,933 --> 00:21:29,354 I saved myself the trouble. 129 00:21:29,644 --> 00:21:32,584 Go on, tell us the story. Continue. 130 00:21:32,794 --> 00:21:35,774 Yes, but where was I? At an interesting old monastery. 131 00:21:35,974 --> 00:21:36,974 That's right. 132 00:21:37,204 --> 00:21:39,224 Yes, a monastery I was passing. 133 00:21:39,784 --> 00:21:41,254 Well, I saw a window and looked in. 134 00:21:41,524 --> 00:21:43,624 Through it, I could see the cellar of the chapel. 135 00:21:44,462 --> 00:21:45,484 Oh, what? 136 00:21:45,604 --> 00:21:48,524 You can't imagine what was going on. 137 00:21:48,994 --> 00:21:51,014 I saw some monks lined up. 138 00:21:51,454 --> 00:21:53,073 And before them, an altar or something that 139 00:21:53,074 --> 00:21:55,414 looked like it, except for one little light. 140 00:21:55,924 --> 00:21:57,604 I could hardly believe my eyes. 141 00:21:58,534 --> 00:22:01,304 A stark naked woman lay on that altar. 142 00:22:01,984 --> 00:22:03,824 How do you like that? 143 00:22:04,834 --> 00:22:06,934 Yes, and silently I took a closer look. 144 00:22:07,174 --> 00:22:08,764 They were playing some kind of game. 145 00:22:09,064 --> 00:22:10,807 They were trying to hit a kettle, but the pellets 146 00:22:10,808 --> 00:22:13,807 were released by slapping the girl on her tummy. 147 00:22:14,074 --> 00:22:15,074 Missed. 148 00:22:15,484 --> 00:22:16,484 Wham! 149 00:22:16,984 --> 00:22:17,984 Bullseye! 150 00:22:26,254 --> 00:22:28,234 What a brutal game. How idiotic. 151 00:22:28,924 --> 00:22:29,344 You know, 152 00:22:29,584 --> 00:22:33,214 we could try it out with the two of you. Can you or your sister shoot the farthest? 153 00:22:35,187 --> 00:22:38,354 Oh, but I have got the end of my story yet! 154 00:22:39,334 --> 00:22:42,154 All of a sudden, the garden of the monastery arrived with an 155 00:22:42,339 --> 00:22:43,444 armful of vegetables. 156 00:22:55,174 --> 00:22:57,254 Some more pennants, brothers. 157 00:23:32,404 --> 00:23:33,994 That night I could not fall asleep. 158 00:23:34,354 --> 00:23:37,024 The events of the preceding day occupied my every thought. 159 00:23:37,654 --> 00:23:41,144 The frogs in the moat seemed louder than usual, warning me of something. 160 00:27:47,148 --> 00:27:48,155 D'Artagnan! 161 00:27:48,361 --> 00:27:53,174 I can't explain. Ever since yesterday, all I've been able to think about is you, and here you are. 162 00:27:57,265 --> 00:27:58,519 Where did you learn that? 163 00:29:19,414 --> 00:29:20,914 My days were sunny and blonde, 164 00:29:21,274 --> 00:29:23,174 my nights dark and brunette. 165 00:30:29,310 --> 00:30:33,790 I could not understand myself. I no longer had my full heart in my little game. 166 00:30:34,050 --> 00:30:36,700 My thoughts kept wandering to the musketeers. 167 00:30:44,640 --> 00:30:46,920 I long to be astride more noble horses 168 00:30:47,250 --> 00:30:48,510 and to fight for my king 169 00:30:48,750 --> 00:30:50,050 and my country. 170 00:31:14,640 --> 00:31:15,450 And my tale? 171 00:31:15,570 --> 00:31:16,080 Tell it to us. 172 00:31:16,191 --> 00:31:16,830 Well, 173 00:31:17,010 --> 00:31:19,146 on no occasion have I ever claimed to have sneaked 174 00:31:19,147 --> 00:31:21,240 into a convent. I went in through the main gates. 175 00:31:21,450 --> 00:31:22,080 Aramis, 176 00:31:22,200 --> 00:31:25,110 musketeer of the king, uninfection. Good idea. 177 00:31:25,560 --> 00:31:29,280 The prior conducted me through the monastery. He showed me all the chambers. 178 00:31:29,400 --> 00:31:33,450 That is all but one. Why? I noticed he was trying to divert my attention from it. 179 00:31:33,960 --> 00:31:35,530 So I insisted. 180 00:31:36,240 --> 00:31:39,250 Well, he had no other choice, so he opened the door. 181 00:31:39,360 --> 00:31:40,540 What happened? 182 00:31:41,070 --> 00:31:43,290 A naked girl was sitting in the center of the room. 183 00:31:43,530 --> 00:31:45,750 About her stood a number of monks, undressed. 184 00:31:45,900 --> 00:31:48,292 They stood there in silence. And in the far corner 185 00:31:48,293 --> 00:31:50,700 of the room, another monk. He was facing the wall. 186 00:31:51,000 --> 00:31:53,740 Well, I asked the prior what it all meant. 187 00:31:54,120 --> 00:31:57,300 Well, it's this way, sire. We, too, are only flesh and blood. 188 00:31:57,420 --> 00:32:01,200 And although it's not sanctioned, we have permitted a slight dissipation once a week. 189 00:32:01,740 --> 00:32:03,540 We've introduced the following. 190 00:32:03,660 --> 00:32:06,054 Do you hear the buzzing sound? Well, it's a bee. 191 00:32:06,078 --> 00:32:09,720 The first one who's been is the bee lab, son. 192 00:32:10,320 --> 00:32:12,250 Well, he's the lucky one. 193 00:32:21,990 --> 00:32:23,773 Yes, but would you please explain why that 194 00:32:23,774 --> 00:32:26,890 one monk is standing over there in the corner? 195 00:32:27,180 --> 00:32:28,600 He was cheating. 196 00:32:28,775 --> 00:32:30,640 And that's his punishment. 197 00:32:30,750 --> 00:32:34,720 He had the nerve to spread honey on his equipment. 198 00:32:42,780 --> 00:32:43,960 Good night. 199 00:33:20,130 --> 00:33:21,130 Huh? 200 00:33:22,110 --> 00:33:23,110 My dear son, 201 00:33:23,310 --> 00:33:26,440 have you given any thoughts, whatever, to plans about your future? 202 00:33:27,150 --> 00:33:27,960 No, I haven't. 203 00:33:28,140 --> 00:33:30,370 I have more than enough to do with our estate. 204 00:33:32,010 --> 00:33:34,176 I have a feeling it's not the right thing for you, my son. 205 00:33:34,200 --> 00:33:36,070 I don't understand, father. 206 00:33:36,360 --> 00:33:38,160 You know what I mean, young man. 207 00:33:38,430 --> 00:33:40,650 I'm talking about your excessive love affairs, 208 00:33:40,830 --> 00:33:41,910 your tomfoolery. 209 00:33:42,060 --> 00:33:43,060 Oh, it's that. 210 00:33:43,140 --> 00:33:44,740 But what am I to do? 211 00:33:45,390 --> 00:33:48,750 Well, my son, I'm going to write a letter to Monsieur de Terville tomorrow. 212 00:33:48,870 --> 00:33:50,601 As captain of his majesty's musketeers, he'll 213 00:33:50,602 --> 00:33:52,680 accept you in his company and look after you. 214 00:33:52,800 --> 00:33:56,220 As soon as I have his reply, you will get on your horse and go straight to him. 215 00:33:56,910 --> 00:33:58,750 His majesty's musketeer. 216 00:33:59,100 --> 00:34:01,420 I think I'd like that very much, father. 217 00:34:04,770 --> 00:34:08,410 I began preparing myself for the life of a musketeer immediately. 218 00:34:20,152 --> 00:34:21,210 D'Artagnan, 219 00:34:21,360 --> 00:34:23,220 this will probably leave a scar. 220 00:34:23,340 --> 00:34:25,710 I'm so sorry, Yvonne. Come here. 221 00:34:25,860 --> 00:34:27,170 Don't cry. 222 00:34:51,150 --> 00:34:54,300 A musketeer requires three things. Let me guess them. All right. 223 00:34:54,450 --> 00:34:55,690 Well, first, 224 00:34:56,520 --> 00:34:58,390 a fine horse, a 225 00:34:58,620 --> 00:35:00,970 sword, and a girl. 226 00:35:01,680 --> 00:35:03,240 You forgot to mention wine. 227 00:35:03,570 --> 00:35:05,950 When the girl happens to be an innkeeper, 228 00:35:06,240 --> 00:35:08,010 well, then wine is of no importance. 229 00:35:09,570 --> 00:35:10,960 You're all right. 230 00:35:11,100 --> 00:35:12,180 Well, let's have some wine. 231 00:35:12,210 --> 00:35:14,740 Come on, hurry up. I hope you like my wine. 232 00:35:14,880 --> 00:35:16,090 Here. 233 00:35:16,320 --> 00:35:18,580 And you can have as much as you want. 234 00:35:19,260 --> 00:35:21,640 You must tell me how good it is, love. 235 00:35:22,380 --> 00:35:25,470 Darling, it's not the first time I've made a musketeer happy. 236 00:35:29,670 --> 00:35:30,670 Burgundy. 237 00:35:31,440 --> 00:35:32,620 First grade. 238 00:35:33,120 --> 00:35:34,450 What were you saying? 239 00:35:35,550 --> 00:35:39,250 What did you say about making a musketeer like me happy? 240 00:35:40,860 --> 00:35:42,490 That's it. 241 00:37:55,410 --> 00:37:56,950 Look, it's a frog! 242 00:38:01,844 --> 00:38:02,944 It tickles terribly! 243 00:38:54,510 --> 00:38:57,130 And then came the day for me to take leave. 244 00:41:47,670 --> 00:41:48,910 Good evening. 245 00:42:15,360 --> 00:42:18,520 Good evening, sire. How may I be of service? Good evening. 246 00:42:18,900 --> 00:42:23,380 A pint of Burgundy, please. Yes, sire. You will find our Burgundy the best in this area. 247 00:42:24,030 --> 00:42:25,030 All right. 248 00:42:25,470 --> 00:42:26,800 We shall see. 249 00:42:42,930 --> 00:42:45,430 There you are, sire. Please sample it. 250 00:42:45,840 --> 00:42:46,380 Thank you. 251 00:42:46,650 --> 00:42:49,840 But first I must go to the stable and look after my horse. 252 00:44:30,060 --> 00:44:31,440 You don't like to waste time. 253 00:44:31,620 --> 00:44:35,430 Well, you seem to know what you want. I gather you must be a member of the cavalry. 254 00:44:35,670 --> 00:44:37,740 D'Artagnan, His Majesty's musketeer. 255 00:44:38,040 --> 00:44:40,140 I mean, I am now on my way to become one of them. 256 00:44:40,860 --> 00:44:42,343 I shall put in a good word for you with. 257 00:44:42,367 --> 00:44:45,250 Monsieur de Treville. That would be most charming. 258 00:44:45,690 --> 00:44:49,960 I feel greatly inclined to demonstrate my fondness for you right here and now. 259 00:44:52,170 --> 00:44:55,679 What must the musketeer of His Majesty d'Artagnan do when he has the honor of being with 260 00:44:55,680 --> 00:44:58,050 the Countess Madame de Voyeur in a stable at night? 261 00:44:58,170 --> 00:44:59,730 He will be at her service, Countess. 262 00:45:03,390 --> 00:45:05,470 That's what I meant, d'Artagnan. 263 00:45:09,210 --> 00:45:11,140 But you mustn't be shy. 264 00:45:20,550 --> 00:45:22,450 Are you afraid, D'Artagnan? 265 00:45:22,590 --> 00:45:23,640 The whip over there. 266 00:45:24,120 --> 00:45:25,630 It's what I want. 267 00:45:25,950 --> 00:45:26,950 Well... 268 00:47:53,490 --> 00:47:54,990 Thank you, my chubby one. 269 00:47:55,350 --> 00:47:58,890 Why not? I have everything most girls have, and lots more of it. 270 00:47:59,040 --> 00:48:00,780 But you're in the same boat. Well, you 271 00:48:00,930 --> 00:48:04,065 know, big men like me always burst with vitality. 272 00:48:04,066 --> 00:48:06,870 Really? Your vitality, you talk about it all the time. 273 00:48:07,110 --> 00:48:09,720 But I'd like to see the proof of the pudding. 274 00:48:10,020 --> 00:48:13,589 Oh, you women always want the proof of everything. You know such proof can have 275 00:48:13,590 --> 00:48:16,224 serious consequences. Yes, but before any consequences 276 00:48:16,225 --> 00:48:19,500 can be detected, it sure is a lot of fun. 277 00:48:25,890 --> 00:48:27,817 Hmm? Why didn't you try and show me what's offered? And who 278 00:48:27,820 --> 00:48:31,900 knows, maybe I'll work up an appetite. Yes, 279 00:48:32,070 --> 00:48:36,310 appetite. I have enough for the two of us. 280 00:48:38,310 --> 00:48:39,443 Help yourself. 281 00:48:39,468 --> 00:48:40,468 Luscious. 282 00:48:46,350 --> 00:48:49,345 I have the feeling it's what you like. 283 00:48:49,950 --> 00:48:52,060 What a pretty ribbon. 284 00:48:53,070 --> 00:48:55,210 Exquisite. 285 00:48:59,040 --> 00:49:01,500 I know there's another one, isn't there? 286 00:49:08,970 --> 00:49:12,671 You witch, you're terrible when you know that? 287 00:49:17,040 --> 00:49:18,255 Drive me wild. 288 00:49:20,340 --> 00:49:23,820 Yes, I'd eat anything for one of your legs and two of your dumplings right now. 289 00:49:24,150 --> 00:49:27,987 A leg of ham and two of your wonderful dumplings just this size. 290 00:49:40,350 --> 00:49:42,640 And put some cheese on it. 291 00:54:10,064 --> 00:54:12,283 We have to get on our way today. To his majesty, or 292 00:54:12,291 --> 00:54:15,294 to a battle. Yes, to a battle. Sixth mission. 293 00:54:16,424 --> 00:54:18,974 I won't go into the matter. I'm a woman. Yes, but 294 00:54:19,454 --> 00:54:20,874 I'll be back. 295 00:54:21,014 --> 00:54:21,794 I hope so, 296 00:54:22,004 --> 00:54:23,514 Armin. 297 00:54:23,594 --> 00:54:25,194 You're a big man. 298 00:54:26,084 --> 00:54:27,104 You're very virile. 299 00:54:27,674 --> 00:54:29,834 And you're also the kind of lover I love. 300 00:54:30,284 --> 00:54:32,714 You're always considered and tender 301 00:54:32,984 --> 00:54:36,104 and brutal at the right moment. 302 00:54:36,254 --> 00:54:37,254 Yes, you are. 303 00:54:37,454 --> 00:54:38,454 Yes. 304 00:54:39,224 --> 00:54:41,774 You have but one fault, 305 00:54:41,924 --> 00:54:43,014 darling. 306 00:54:43,130 --> 00:54:44,645 You prefer boys. 307 00:54:50,504 --> 00:54:52,164 So I prefer boys, huh? 308 00:54:52,411 --> 00:54:53,411 I'll show you! 309 00:55:06,704 --> 00:55:07,974 I met an old man. 310 00:55:16,754 --> 00:55:19,034 Good afternoon, sir. Good afternoon, my boy. 311 00:55:19,364 --> 00:55:21,564 Come right in. Thank you. 312 00:55:24,014 --> 00:55:25,734 Make yourself at home. 313 00:55:26,624 --> 00:55:27,884 A pint of wine. 314 00:55:29,150 --> 00:55:30,644 I'm afraid you ought to relax, son. 315 00:55:30,794 --> 00:55:33,504 The barmaid's upstairs, busy with other things. 316 00:55:34,124 --> 00:55:36,294 Are you one of His Majesty's musketeers? 317 00:55:37,124 --> 00:55:39,054 Exactly, my boy. 318 00:55:39,434 --> 00:55:41,844 In his majesty's service. 319 00:55:44,654 --> 00:55:45,074 Here. 320 00:55:45,344 --> 00:55:46,344 Thank you, sir. 321 00:55:51,734 --> 00:55:52,994 My name is D'Artagnan. 322 00:55:53,204 --> 00:55:57,024 I'm on my way to your captain. He has agreed to let me join his men. 323 00:55:57,404 --> 00:55:58,454 A disastrous group. 324 00:55:58,634 --> 00:56:00,254 Nobody wants any part of them. 325 00:56:00,854 --> 00:56:02,744 They avoid combat, and your soldiers, 326 00:56:03,104 --> 00:56:06,397 at the loss of one drop of blood, they faint. Try and find a 327 00:56:06,398 --> 00:56:10,074 girl in this area who hasn't lost her virginity to a musketeer. 328 00:56:10,184 --> 00:56:11,804 Regardless of what you say, 329 00:56:12,254 --> 00:56:13,254 I will join them. 330 00:56:13,664 --> 00:56:15,654 You wish to join them? Why? 331 00:56:16,604 --> 00:56:17,604 To be like this? 332 00:56:19,493 --> 00:56:20,338 Look at him. 333 00:56:20,363 --> 00:56:21,363 He's still here. 334 00:56:22,514 --> 00:56:23,174 Look at him. 335 00:56:23,294 --> 00:56:24,104 Trace of men. 336 00:56:24,310 --> 00:56:25,867 That is our true battlefield. 337 00:56:25,892 --> 00:56:28,051 Our battlefield quarters, not yours. 338 00:56:32,799 --> 00:56:33,799 Come on, lets go. 339 00:56:34,053 --> 00:56:35,460 Come brothers, duty calls! 340 00:57:06,704 --> 00:57:08,514 Oh, what have we got here? 341 00:57:31,572 --> 00:57:33,774 Would you care for something to eat? 342 00:57:34,724 --> 00:57:37,524 Your boots are dusty. Shall I clean them? 343 00:57:38,024 --> 00:57:40,704 Would you like me to brush your trousers? 344 00:57:40,934 --> 00:57:44,414 A musketeer of his majesty. What a glorious dream. 345 00:57:44,804 --> 00:57:47,154 Doesn't he have the dreamiest eyes? 346 00:57:47,558 --> 00:57:49,734 I'd say he's still a virgin. 347 00:57:51,674 --> 00:57:54,224 Look at his skin. How soft and beautiful it is. 348 00:57:56,963 --> 00:58:01,044 Would you like me to bathe you? Would you like to lie down a while? 349 00:58:03,164 --> 00:58:04,164 Hmm? 350 00:58:04,454 --> 00:58:05,174 What was that, ma'am? 351 00:58:05,414 --> 00:58:07,814 - My name's Moosh Moosh. - And I am Shoo Shoo. 352 00:58:47,564 --> 00:58:51,081 And that is the castle of the Countess Madame de Voyeur. I'll wager it 353 00:58:51,614 --> 00:58:53,084 has a lot of bedrooms. 354 00:58:53,294 --> 00:58:56,114 What good are a thousand beds if you can only use them to sleep in? 355 00:58:56,384 --> 00:58:58,704 I thought the beautiful Countess was married. 356 00:59:00,344 --> 00:59:04,094 Aramis's logic is beyond you, Porthos. The Countess has been in a state of sexual 357 00:59:04,124 --> 00:59:06,444 distress since the Count's duel in Rochelle. 358 00:59:06,524 --> 00:59:07,544 Oh, is she with her now? 359 00:59:07,784 --> 00:59:09,744 Much worse, Porthos. 360 00:59:10,154 --> 00:59:12,954 The Count received a wound in a certain area. 361 00:59:15,344 --> 00:59:16,344 You don't say. 362 00:59:16,574 --> 00:59:18,090 So now the poor man no longer has anything 363 00:59:18,091 --> 00:59:21,054 with which he can prove to his wife that he's a man. 364 00:59:22,334 --> 00:59:25,584 Ah, yes. I am afraid we're making the Countess. 365 01:00:05,864 --> 01:00:06,404 Where is he? 366 01:00:06,764 --> 01:00:07,764 Ready! 367 01:00:07,964 --> 01:00:08,414 Halt! 368 01:00:08,744 --> 01:00:10,734 In the name of the king! 369 01:00:10,874 --> 01:00:11,954 How do you like my sword? 370 01:00:12,554 --> 01:00:14,204 Let us descend to your vassal. 371 01:00:17,794 --> 01:00:18,794 Ha, that's it! 372 01:00:19,347 --> 01:00:20,366 Come on! Come on! 373 01:00:20,534 --> 01:00:21,534 That's it. 374 01:00:22,790 --> 01:00:25,563 You and cowards! Three against one! 375 01:00:32,374 --> 01:00:33,520 Let me take care of him! 376 01:00:33,551 --> 01:00:36,206 Let me show the coward how man must handle his sword! 377 01:00:38,102 --> 01:00:39,722 To be a musketeer, you have to be a real man. 378 01:00:39,731 --> 01:00:43,240 He knows what he wants, and he'll fight for it. 379 01:00:46,082 --> 01:00:47,155 And he always gets it. 380 01:00:47,462 --> 01:00:49,176 Everybody knows that. 381 01:00:49,412 --> 01:00:50,742 Ask the Countess. 382 01:00:51,022 --> 01:00:52,038 That's alright! 383 01:00:53,456 --> 01:00:54,562 Filthy scoundel! 384 01:01:01,622 --> 01:01:03,104 And now, gentlemen... 385 01:01:04,651 --> 01:01:06,492 ...the Countess is a widow. 386 01:01:24,571 --> 01:01:26,657 - She's in one of the bedrooms. - We'll find her. 387 01:01:26,691 --> 01:01:27,385 In bed! 388 01:01:27,451 --> 01:01:29,275 - Where else? - Well, if she is, I hope she's alone. 389 01:01:29,299 --> 01:01:29,735 Yes! 390 01:01:30,002 --> 01:01:31,057 Suppose we start at the 391 01:01:31,232 --> 01:01:31,862 first door first. 392 01:01:32,132 --> 01:01:32,822 Come right in. 393 01:01:33,021 --> 01:01:33,719 We're coming! 394 01:01:33,773 --> 01:01:34,773 Well, don't be shy! 395 01:01:34,862 --> 01:01:37,292 - I'm sure she'll be happy to see us. - What do I see here? 396 01:01:37,562 --> 01:01:38,982 Look at her. 397 01:01:39,182 --> 01:01:40,822 - Well, she said... - Hold your horses... 398 01:01:40,862 --> 01:01:44,322 - ...my friend. - Don't you know that a countess is handled with delicacy? 399 01:01:47,132 --> 01:01:48,692 I'm afraid he's right, gentlemen. 400 01:01:48,842 --> 01:01:52,422 Please, let's not rush things one after the other. 401 01:01:52,712 --> 01:01:54,338 - We'll count off. - That's a good idea. 402 01:01:54,363 --> 01:01:56,372 Yes, but no bickering from you afterwards. 403 01:01:56,702 --> 01:02:00,222 Eenie, meenie, miney, moe, you go out. 404 01:02:00,392 --> 01:02:01,992 Eenie, meenie, miney, moe, 405 01:02:02,102 --> 01:02:03,102 you go out with you. 406 01:02:05,522 --> 01:02:08,265 I'm first. We'll see who laughs last. 407 01:02:13,172 --> 01:02:15,272 Let's go. Come on. There's no behind you. 408 01:02:15,872 --> 01:02:19,112 - I'm replacing the Count in this house. - Well, what do you see? 409 01:02:19,232 --> 01:02:20,102 A keyhole. 410 01:02:20,222 --> 01:02:22,022 Oh, but what else do you see? 411 01:02:22,502 --> 01:02:22,982 Nothing. 412 01:02:23,132 --> 01:02:25,182 He simply doesn't have my vitality. 413 01:02:25,853 --> 01:02:26,853 Ha, at last! 414 01:02:27,602 --> 01:02:29,222 Alright, now it's my turn. 415 01:02:29,432 --> 01:02:33,220 - Listen, try cooling off. He never comes that quickly. - I meant at the keyhole. 416 01:02:38,012 --> 01:02:40,781 - How can a person be so inquisitive? - They don't interest me anyway. 417 01:02:40,811 --> 01:02:43,389 - My goodness. - You're the fairest one of all. 418 01:02:45,176 --> 01:02:47,132 It was really getting serious. Stop it. 419 01:02:47,552 --> 01:02:49,452 I played the part of the sixth floor. 420 01:02:49,862 --> 01:02:51,692 Why, oh, why, oh, boy! Look at them! 421 01:02:51,812 --> 01:02:55,861 There's another six of doors in their gang, Matt. One of his majesty's musketeers would never 422 01:02:55,862 --> 01:02:59,731 discredit another musketeer on purpose. It's a matter of honor. But above all, a true 423 01:02:59,732 --> 01:03:02,342 musketeer is never as egoistic as you are. Move over! 424 01:03:02,582 --> 01:03:04,892 You begrudge me absolutely everything I love in life. 425 01:03:05,102 --> 01:03:06,102 What did you say? 426 01:03:06,152 --> 01:03:07,682 Tight, insatiable sex maniac. 427 01:03:07,892 --> 01:03:08,522 You keep saying 428 01:03:08,792 --> 01:03:10,785 words like that, I'll triple you for life. Stop that, you idiot. 429 01:03:10,786 --> 01:03:13,146 Mind your tongue. So I'm the one who has to mind his tongue. 430 01:03:13,382 --> 01:03:16,082 Well, anything you can do, I can do even better. Quiet, team. 431 01:03:16,442 --> 01:03:16,892 I'm not a 432 01:03:17,222 --> 01:03:18,752 what I'm a giant and you see 433 01:03:18,962 --> 01:03:19,712 you notice it 434 01:03:19,862 --> 01:03:21,642 you feel it? 435 01:03:43,142 --> 01:03:45,822 Why don't you stay here with us until the spring? 436 01:03:46,832 --> 01:03:48,402 I must go to Paris. 437 01:03:48,632 --> 01:03:49,772 Why go to Paris? 438 01:03:50,222 --> 01:03:51,901 You'll always be in danger of catching a... 439 01:03:51,902 --> 01:03:54,212 - ...disease from some female. - Your thing will fall off. 440 01:03:55,142 --> 01:03:57,132 I hate to go, but I must. 441 01:04:28,442 --> 01:04:28,802 Am I 442 01:04:28,922 --> 01:04:32,113 exactly back on a horse again for a change? 443 01:04:32,672 --> 01:04:35,922 Because you know it's your horse, and it won't throw you off, right? 444 01:04:36,752 --> 01:04:39,482 I wonder if that's supposed to be some kind of dirty insinuation. 445 01:04:39,752 --> 01:04:42,792 However, it should mean I've been in factors of condescend me. 446 01:04:43,682 --> 01:04:45,343 I wouldn't even dare to make any dirty 447 01:04:45,433 --> 01:04:47,612 insinuations regarding the Countess and you. 448 01:04:47,732 --> 01:04:48,938 Incidentally, where are we going? 449 01:04:48,962 --> 01:04:52,512 I would like to propose we start riding towards our headquarters. 450 01:04:53,432 --> 01:04:56,821 If only because we have to pass a certain inn. Because of a certain inn? Shall we start 451 01:04:56,822 --> 01:04:59,822 counting the certain inns between here and Paris? Oh, no, I'd rather not. 452 01:04:59,942 --> 01:05:02,012 I was never very good in the out of county. 453 01:05:02,252 --> 01:05:03,252 What counts is 454 01:05:03,482 --> 01:05:05,412 finding them again. 455 01:05:05,942 --> 01:05:07,854 Say, by the way, my stomach tells me it's dinner 456 01:05:07,855 --> 01:05:10,962 time. Can't you ever think of anything but food? 457 01:05:28,352 --> 01:05:30,544 Oh, wouldn't it be wonderful if there were a man in the house 458 01:05:30,545 --> 01:05:33,972 dear sister? And two would be even better. What about three? 459 01:05:34,142 --> 01:05:35,592 Think of the possibilities. 460 01:06:01,592 --> 01:06:05,232 Have no fear, ladies. We're here to rescue you from your distress. 461 01:06:05,792 --> 01:06:07,112 The Three Musketeers ready to 462 01:06:07,502 --> 01:06:08,922 do anything for you, right? 463 01:06:09,302 --> 01:06:09,722 Yes, 464 01:06:10,232 --> 01:06:12,612 he's fortifying himself with dumplings and cherries. 465 01:06:14,555 --> 01:06:16,442 - With what? - We, of course, are cavalier. 466 01:06:17,388 --> 01:06:18,388 What's missing? 467 01:09:02,165 --> 01:09:03,165 D'Artagnan... 468 01:09:03,272 --> 01:09:05,412 - ...it is you, isn't it? - Yes. 469 01:09:05,762 --> 01:09:08,262 I'm so happy to see you again and alive. 470 01:09:08,642 --> 01:09:11,582 As you can see, I'm alive. I'm sorry I fainted when I was with you. 471 01:09:11,732 --> 01:09:14,442 It was because you were such a passionate musketeer. 472 01:09:15,092 --> 01:09:17,162 Thank you. You two are a passionate woman. 473 01:09:17,432 --> 01:09:19,202 I'll never forget that evening, Countess. 474 01:09:19,322 --> 01:09:21,162 I dare say I'm out of practice. 475 01:09:21,572 --> 01:09:23,102 I'm all by myself now. 476 01:09:23,672 --> 01:09:25,472 My husband passed away three months ago. 477 01:09:25,622 --> 01:09:27,732 He was killed in a sword fight. 478 01:09:27,842 --> 01:09:29,732 I'm sure the Count died a brave man. 479 01:09:29,882 --> 01:09:31,802 But the Count wasn't left all alone. 480 01:09:32,192 --> 01:09:33,902 I'm the one you should have sympathy for. 481 01:09:34,022 --> 01:09:36,200 I'm the one who should be compensated for it. Yes, that's 482 01:09:36,224 --> 01:09:38,492 true. You have my deepest sympathy. Believe me. 483 01:09:38,972 --> 01:09:42,242 I feel sure you should pay me a visit at my castle soon. With pleasure. 484 01:09:42,422 --> 01:09:44,642 I'd love having you there. Promise it will be soon? 485 01:09:44,792 --> 01:09:46,772 It's a promise. I'll come as soon as possible. 486 01:09:47,942 --> 01:09:50,102 I shall see to it that you relax from your ventures. 487 01:09:50,222 --> 01:09:51,422 I'll be expecting you. 488 01:10:25,172 --> 01:10:26,312 And I kept my promise, 489 01:10:26,462 --> 01:10:27,512 unfortunately. 490 01:10:31,580 --> 01:10:33,350 His Majesty's musketeer, d'Artagnan... 491 01:10:33,710 --> 01:10:36,150 - ...pays his compliments. - Welcome, d'Artagnan. 492 01:10:36,830 --> 01:10:38,880 Is my arrival untimely? 493 01:10:38,990 --> 01:10:42,080 I am grateful for your invitation to have a rest at your castle. 494 01:10:42,500 --> 01:10:44,510 You misunderstood me about having a rest. 495 01:10:44,840 --> 01:10:45,973 Then I shall go to the stable. 496 01:10:45,997 --> 01:10:47,930 But why? This is your bed. 497 01:10:48,350 --> 01:10:49,350 Eventually. 498 01:10:49,730 --> 01:10:53,340 A musketeer's first duty is to his horse, no matter what he'd rather do. 499 01:10:53,420 --> 01:10:55,340 So please excuse me. I shall hurry. 500 01:10:55,820 --> 01:10:57,900 Spoken like a true musketeer. 501 01:10:58,910 --> 01:11:02,449 Let me assure you, your horse is being looked after. Then I shall not hesitate to look 502 01:11:02,450 --> 01:11:04,610 after myself, if it pleases the Countess. 503 01:11:04,880 --> 01:11:06,150 It does. 504 01:11:55,400 --> 01:11:58,250 Have you heard the latest rumours about our friend D'Artagnan yet? 505 01:11:58,370 --> 01:12:00,548 Since when do you listen to rumours? You know very well 506 01:12:00,549 --> 01:12:03,870 that when I call gossip a rumour, it's always a true story. 507 01:12:04,010 --> 01:12:07,700 Haven't you been told yet that young D'Artagnan has become the lover of Madame de Voyeux, 508 01:12:07,820 --> 01:12:11,610 and she keeps him in her past like a bird in a golden cage? And 509 01:12:11,680 --> 01:12:14,204 that poor boy is obliged to satisfy the countess, where we 510 01:12:14,990 --> 01:12:15,380 three one day will do. 511 01:12:15,710 --> 01:12:19,639 If he survives, it'll be by the skin of his teeth. Human beings have seven layers of 512 01:12:19,640 --> 01:12:21,980 skin, but does he have them everywhere? 513 01:12:22,130 --> 01:12:25,980 Each of the boy's hands may have five fingers, but I'll bet you he's got only one penis. 514 01:12:28,014 --> 01:12:31,754 - And I'm sure the countess wishes it were the other way around. - You know what? 515 01:12:31,913 --> 01:12:33,473 They'd be in bed eternally. 516 01:12:56,033 --> 01:12:58,200 The countess, it seemed, was insatiable. 517 01:12:58,460 --> 01:13:00,960 I was becoming a prisoner in her castle, 518 01:13:01,070 --> 01:13:02,340 in her bed, 519 01:13:02,420 --> 01:13:03,720 in her arms. 520 01:13:03,920 --> 01:13:05,700 I was becoming desperate. 521 01:13:08,000 --> 01:13:09,920 She kept her eyes on me day and night. 522 01:13:10,250 --> 01:13:13,410 I would catch her spying on me no matter where I went. 523 01:13:13,550 --> 01:13:16,260 She sensed I was planning to get away. 524 01:13:18,290 --> 01:13:21,390 And finally, the night to try escaping pain. 525 01:13:50,570 --> 01:13:52,100 I admit I felt rather weak, 526 01:13:52,610 --> 01:13:55,220 but I would have ventured climbing over even higher walls 527 01:13:55,550 --> 01:13:58,910 in order to have them between me and the man-devouring demands 528 01:13:59,210 --> 01:14:01,500 of that insatiable vampire. 529 01:15:06,650 --> 01:15:10,320 Not until I had walked for hours did I feel safe from her. 530 01:16:22,730 --> 01:16:24,059 Oh, it's you. 531 01:16:27,080 --> 01:16:28,735 - My name is Carmen, remember? - The first time we... 532 01:16:28,736 --> 01:16:31,860 ...met, I don't think you even mentioned it, huh? 533 01:16:33,410 --> 01:16:36,950 I was so fascinated by your unique demonstration I must have forgotten it. 534 01:16:37,520 --> 01:16:38,730 And afterwards. 535 01:16:39,500 --> 01:16:41,460 It must have slipped my mind. 536 01:16:42,950 --> 01:16:45,650 But you must tell me first whether my prediction came true or not. 537 01:16:46,280 --> 01:16:48,320 Have aristocratic women been running after you? 538 01:16:48,830 --> 01:16:51,840 I'll never be able to tell you just how true it is. 539 01:16:51,980 --> 01:16:53,480 You don't have to tell me about it. 540 01:16:53,690 --> 01:16:55,440 I'm not your father confessor. 541 01:17:28,940 --> 01:17:30,380 Come a little closer to me. 542 01:17:30,860 --> 01:17:31,860 I'm cold. 543 01:17:32,060 --> 01:17:33,060 Yes. 544 01:17:33,830 --> 01:17:35,850 You're trembling, aren't you? 545 01:17:36,890 --> 01:17:39,596 Then take me in your arms, d'Artagnan. 546 01:17:40,460 --> 01:17:42,660 Or don't you like me anymore? 547 01:17:47,480 --> 01:17:48,920 Maybe it's fate after all 548 01:17:49,610 --> 01:17:51,180 that we've met again. 549 01:17:58,640 --> 01:18:01,160 Look, d'Artagnan, how I tremble from head to foot. 550 01:18:01,490 --> 01:18:03,570 I have goose pimples all over. 551 01:18:26,330 --> 01:18:30,660 No, I may be wrong, but I'm almost sure you're not the boy you used to be. 552 01:18:32,750 --> 01:18:33,980 Take off your things 553 01:18:34,340 --> 01:18:37,050 and show me what you've learned since the first time. 554 01:19:02,330 --> 01:19:04,110 What did you say then? 555 01:19:04,430 --> 01:19:06,000 That it was a flute. 556 01:19:10,880 --> 01:19:13,050 That's a slingshot, not a flute. 557 01:19:19,460 --> 01:19:21,360 Come over here. 558 01:19:25,130 --> 01:19:28,410 I just want to know if your slingshot hasn't changed. 559 01:20:32,045 --> 01:20:36,106 You hear the story yet about the two nuns who met a lady's pet in the street one day? 560 01:20:36,616 --> 01:20:39,216 - Well, go on. - Well, they asked the woman how she made a living. 561 01:20:39,316 --> 01:20:43,436 And she said the prior always gave her a piece of gold whenever he had been together with her. 562 01:20:44,296 --> 01:20:46,229 - That's incredible! - It's what the nun's done! 563 01:20:47,626 --> 01:20:50,112 The reverend doesn't give us anything but lollipops!